


Time To Catch Your Breath

by TheSpaceCoyote



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asthma, Illness, M/M, Post-Sburb, breathing problems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-11
Updated: 2012-06-11
Packaged: 2017-11-07 11:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpaceCoyote/pseuds/TheSpaceCoyote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Game, John develops severe problems with his breathing. He tries to keep it hidden from his friends, ashamed and not wanting to become a burden. </p>
<p>However, when John receives an unexpected, long-term visit from Dave on his father's request, secrets start to come to light. And those secrets turn out to not be entirely limited to those involving his breathing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time To Catch Your Breath

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So I really like the idea of John having breathing problems for some reason. I'm hoping this fic will be multi-chapter, not too many but maybe around 8 or 9? 
> 
> Enjoy!

Your name is John Egbert, and ever since coming back from SBURB you’ve had certain  _problems_ . 

You don’t know how your current bad health is related to the game, but it seems to be more than a coincidence that the former Heir of Breath is now suffering from lung problems. Though you’re not sure, you haven’t really heard of Dave or Rose or Jade having issues related to their God Tier powers. You don’t really understand why you’ve been singled out, or whether this is some kind of game condition or consequence of being a friendleader. You really don’t get it, but you don’t really need to, because understanding why it happened isn’t going to cure it or help you deal with the attacks. 

So you suck it up and take your lot in stride, because at least you’re alive, right?

_Right_ .

You know you need to be grateful, that things could be much, much worst. You could be dead, or your friends could be dead, or your dad could be dead, or your could still be stuck in the Game. Compared to all of that, things like avoiding spending as much time outdoors and not being able to take P.E. and occasionally having to use an artificial respirator didn’t seem all that bad, and you really wouldn’t trade the former for the latter under any circumstances. 

But sometimes, when you’re stuck in your room with tubes up your nose, or when you can’t go outside because theres too much pollen or dust in the air, or when your dad has to hold you and press your inhaler to your lips during an attack because you’re too weak to do it yourself, you just can’t stop thinking that it’s just not  _fair_ . 

In the Game, you were a  _god_ . You had powers and abilities beyond your wildest imaginations, and you used them to fight for your friends and lead them to victory. You had been useful, you’d helped the people you cared about and loved survive amidst the perilous pitfalls and plans of inter-dimensional time demons and crazy alien space witches. You were a hero, and you had protected your friends from all kinds of danger. 

But now you were useless. You were worse than useless—instead of being helpful and powerful you were weak and a burden on all those who you knew. Your friends constantly worried about you, even though you had told them you only had a minor case of asthma and that it wasn't anything to worry about, _really_. Sometimes when you went missing online for a couple of days due to a severe attack or something they would get really concerned and you would wind up having to think of a quick and believable lie to prevent them from asking more questions. You didn’t want them to know how pathetic and vulnerable you had really become. 

For the first time in your life, you're glad that they all live so far away. Because they can't see you like this. They won't ever have any idea of how useless you are. 

Worse than your friends, though, was your dad, because you really couldn’t hide anything from him. He saw you at your absolute worst and weakest, and still loved you and cared about you—though sometimes you wondered  _why_ . 

You had already let your dad down once during the Game, letting him die after searching for him for so long and before you even had the chance to try to save him. But you had finally avenged him against Jack, and then even had restored him once you had won the Game and created the new universe. 

You had saved him, but  _now_ you were nothing more than a burden to him. Your dad would never say it, he’s too nice of a guy and cares about you way too much, but you just  _know_ that having to take care of you like this is wearing on him. The way that he worries about you every single day, fretting over whether or not you’ll have another attack, or have to go to the hospital, or worse. 

You  _hate_ this. You hate feeling so weak. You hate feeling like you’re letting everyone you know down by being so pathetic. Most days you wish that you would just disappear--things would probably be better off if you weren't here. Your friends would be better off. Your dad would be better off. And you would definitely be better off if you didn't spend every day feeling hurt and weak and so _useless._  

  



End file.
